Dragon Lady
Untitled (Woman and Daughter with Makeup) by Carrie Mae Weems from “The Kitchen Table Series” 1990
‘Define yourself for yourself’ was the greatest lesson my mother taught.
Although, I am not the same person I was when this book was written, the message is the same. Bursting at the Seams, is a five-part exploration of my relationship to the rest of the world, opening with my relationship to love and family in the Midwest. I am investigating my place in the world while exploring Black womanhood (past, present, and future) to understand my nature of being and find my own voice.
Section three, “The Gossip,” opens with Audre Lorde’s quote, “If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” “Dragon Lady,” poem three in this section, written for my mother, demonstrates this quote as a lesson.
Untitled (Woman and Daughter with Makeup) by Carrie Mae Weems from “The Kitchen Table Series” 1990
My mother is a self-defined woman from the ’70s; she and her siblings will tell you this. Being a Black single parent on the Eastside of Indianapolis was hard. At the same time, she worked two jobs, was in school, dealing with her own trauma, cancer survivor, health issues, racism, misogyny and personal issues (things not yet named) and still managed to be a flame in its blues form. I saw how it left others in wonder.
As I become my own woman, now sharing some of her experiences, it also leaves me in wonder even more. I am able to see how our pain and healing is tied together through our shared experiences.
I learned that by recognizing her, I recognize and define myself.
